Vipassana Retreat, 26th Dec 2022 – 6th Jan. 2023

To end the year with ten days of silence and intensive meditations was exactly what I needed, just after Christmas Eve- which rhymes with all kinds of agape.

Guided by Ven Gendun, a Dutch monk with an infectious sense of humor and kindness, we, a group of more than 40 people, tasted the discipline of a mind concentrated in one point. The exercise is difficult because we have to try not to lose the object of observation while taking care not to have the mind too tense and too relaxed, in this case, the object being the entrance to a nostril.

Hour after hour, day after day, the initially reluctant mind becomes more flexible and begins to enjoy it. The thoughts that were so invasive and distracting, gradually lose their appeal. The mind tastes the serenity of a soothing silence, lulled by the sensation of the breath that comes and goes.

The body relaxes, the noses blow, the throats clear – an exercise in collective empathy for the ills of winter…

The walking meditations in the park, under a nice winter sun, allow us to air ourselves, to feel the ground under the soles of our feet, to focus our attention on this small part of the body. What discipline, what attention to avoid being caught by the spectacle of a bird flying away, a leaf detaching itself from the branch, a small insect jumping from a blade of grass, a sheep escaping from the woods one morning. To look for sure, but controlling the moment not to lose the object of observation.

And what about those wonderful evening hours of listening “religiously” to the Venerable!
His teaching, his direct approach, his experience so palpable – punctuated with laughter, anecdotes, lessons – were very strong moments of the retreat.

It was a journey out of time, an entry into oneself, free of all obligations thanks to the teams on site who were so quick to cook us good meals, to see to our comfort and to the cleanliness of the place.

A big thank you to the teams of the Vajra Yogini Institute. Many thanks to our translator, Aurélie. Many thanks to the venerable Gendun.

We look forward to the next retreat with the venerable this summer!

Vajrasattva Retreat, 6th-13th August 2022

Yangsi Rinpoche could not come this this year. He was detained in the US looking after his ailing teacher, and IVY’s former teacher, Geshe Tenzin Dorje. Never mind, Geshe Loden with long experience guided us along the path of contemplation that leads into Vajrasattva’s presence. 

Was it the hottest week of the year? Never mind, Vajrasattva’s nectar cooled the heat of the afflictions, and two large coolers in our gathering place in the Bergerie did their work well too! 

Accumulated negativies can sometimes weigh heavy. Never mind, thanks to the purity of Vajrasattva and the light-heartedness of Geshe-la seventy people’s hearts floated upwards in harmony. Pleasure free of
attachment is much better than pleasure mixed with attachment. Only let go of self-cherishing. Challenging words as usual.

I for one enjoyed the very good company, the very good organization, the freedom to do one of the four daily sessions unguided, in the place of one’s choice, with others or just by oneself, and also of course, the very fine cuisine.

I left feeling very appreciative.

My life in a castle

The idea of doing a solitary retreat at Vajra Yogini Institute sprouted in my mind in 2018 after Rinpoche’s teachings and the suggestion of a friend who told me that he had done a 3-month retreat by himself at the Institute in perfect conditions.

Strangely enough, it was in Osel Ling, where I was doing a retreat at the end of last year, that the idea of coming to Vajra Yogini came up, motivated first by the presence of Geshe Loden. And since I was assigned the room on the third floor of the east wing above his apartments, I enjoyed his presence and support immensely, as if carried by his broad shoulders! I was also connected to all the lamas, including Lama Zopa Rinpoche of course, who had stayed there A nice room with a fantastic view of the sunrises and early morning skies to the east and the stupa to the north. A place that is both safe, blessed and open.

The contaminations had put pressure on everyone when I arrived and confinement was “de rigueur”. The atmosphere of the volunteers was both calm and hard-working, all were charming – Nicolas of course, Mister Director ; Nadine my incredibly efficient “referent” (and expert in swabs since the covid caught me but not enough to make me positive!), Maude who carried me the trays to the 3rd floor, etc. The fire pujas, officiated by Guéshéla, magically cleaned everything. Beautiful energy, beautiful light ! These were three beautiful weeks that I cherish and that will nourish me for a long time I think.

The interest of doing a “solitary retreat”

I have been on many solitary retreats over the past few years, strangely motivated by the following reasoning: since isolation is imposed on us, we might as well choose a complete isolation and make the most of it.

When I arrived at Osel Ling last fall, I found in my “casita”, a text by Lama Yeshe on retreats that summarized everything there is to say on the subject, and I immediately felt like translating it to share it.

I remember very clearly Lama’s insistent recommendations to do the three months group retreat of Dorje Sempa, because it is a demanding purification practice and because one can profit from the group. When one is not doing well, another participant is doing better, and so we can support each other to reach the end. Lama considered that we had then eliminated the most obvious obstacles to the practice of the Dharma, the most disabling emotions and traumas, and probably also acquired confidence and a certain know-how… This is the purpose of the preliminary practices.

In any case, it is after several group retreats that Lama Zopa Rinpoche sent me on my own to the Himalayas, first to Namo Buddha for one month, then to Lawudo for three months. At that time, I had no means of communication of any kind, I knew nothing of what was in store for me and nobody was informed of my arrival. Reaching Lawudo was not going to be easy with post-monsoon landslides, coolies attracted by the pay but not by the task, amoebic dysentery, etc. Of course, there was no lama around to ask for advice… It was a bit of a leap in the dark but I don’t remember suffering from it. Of course, the quality of my meditation was poor, I had tons of questions and no answers, but I never, ever doubted the validity of the thing. It was the end of 1984, Lama had died and I was about to go back to France, the Dharma had taken root in me permanently and I held on, although still out of context.

The big gatherings around His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Lama Zopa Rinpoche and other great lamas, are great moments of communion, support, encounters. We feel part of a family, we are nourished by an energy, a determination, etc., we receive so much, we are touched in the heart.

But the deep work, the real work on oneself, “organic” as Lama would say, takes place in silence and solitude, when there is no more escape, no more distractions, when you are face to face with your self, naked… You have no other choice than to look for your own resources inside, to observe your states of mind in order to learn how to manage them, to learn from your mistakes and to readjust yourself constantly… It is a delicate and exciting work. The discipline that you imposes on yourself then enables the emergence of a mental peace and joy, even if of course, there are storms, chaos, but you learn to go through them with more and more confidence. And then, in the heart of solitude, the buddhas, bodhisattvas, gurus are here, very much here !

Frankly, in our time, when we are so off-centered, always looking elsewhere, outside, it is an essential experience, the greatest gift we can offer to ourselves. It is the greatest adventure, nothing more exciting than to discover yourself. So I wish you would create these spaces, these deep breaths in a place that is already blessed by the presence of realized beings and meditators. Do not be afraid, just be reasonable, go slowly and gradually. Long live Dharma retreats.